Okay, I get it.

Now that all the hype has worn off about my last entry, and after some regrets of flaunting it for all eyes to see, I've gone back and made a few changes... to almost everything.  Funny.  Just yesterday I was thinking I couldn't make it any better than it already was.

Pacific Motel (Act 1, Part 1)

A guy thinks he’ll finally get lucky when he decides to be roommates with an attractive woman.  But then he finds out that he's actually living with a prostitute.

CHARACTERS:

RYAN

MONIQUE

DANA

            

ACT ONE: FIRST DAY

Scene 1: Welcome to the neighborhood

(Light comes up on a dark stage.  MONIQUE sits cross-legged in a mostly empty living room in an apartment, alone, on a brown couch. A painting of a giraffe is on the wall. Footsteps are heard outside, indicating that someone is outside the apartment.  She looks towards to door in anticipation.  Then the doorbell rings, slightly buzzing from age.  She walks towards the door at stage left and opens it wide.  RYAN is standing out there, hands in his pockets, looking casual.) 

MONIQUE: (Expressionless) Hello.

RYAN: Hi.

MONIQUE:  Are you Ryan?

RYAN:  Yes.

MONIQUE:  Well, come in.  And bring in your stuff.

RYAN:  Oh, I—I don’t have any.

MONIQUE: Oh.  Well, just come in then.

(Ryan enters.  Monique closes the door behind him.  He walks around for a minute, looking at the living room.)

RYAN: Nice place.

MONIQUE:  Thanks.  It’s not mine.

RYAN: Oh.  (Pauses and thinks) But you’re renting it, right?

MONIQUE: Yeah.  But none of this shit is mine.

RYAN: Really?  Why not?

MONIQUE: (Points towards the back wall) You think I would have a picture of a giraffe in here?

RYAN: (Looks in back of him, and then realizes that it’s there) Oh.  First time I noticed that.

MONIQUE:  (Points at the couch she was sitting on) And this couch.  I didn’t put this couch here.  Look, it’s brown.  It literally looks like a lump of shit on the floor.

RYAN: Yeah, it does.  (Cracks a smile) Looks like the giraffe took a dump here. (Chuckles, but sees Monique isn’t laughing.  She’s just staring awkwardly at him.) Can I sit on it?

MONIQUE: Go ahead.

RYAN: Thanks.

(He sits down.  He actually looks quite comfortable.  Monique sits on the arm of the couch, from the right of him.  She’s staring at him as him she’s expecting him to start a conversation.)

So what was your name again?

MONIQUE: (Still expressionless) Monique.  And you’re Ryan.

RYAN: (As if he’s a little proud of his name) Yes, I am.

MONIQUE: I never gave you my name.

RYAN: (Confused) But… you just did.

MONIQUE: No, I mean in the ad.

RYAN: Oh.  (Pauses and thinks) I didn’t even notice.  All I saw was your picture and your number.  Oh, and the price of the rent.

MONIQUE: 400 dollars a month.

RYAN: Yeah, that was it.

MONIQUE: First payment’s due by the 5^th.

RYAN: Really?  That soon?

MONIQUE: It’s not my rule.  It’s Dana’s.

RYAN: Who’s Dana?

MONIQUE: The landlady.

(The doorbell suddenly rings again.  Ryan jumps a little bit and jerks his head towards the door. Monique gets up from the arm of the couch walks briskly towards the door.  She opens it.  DANA is standing in the doorway, extending her arms in enthusiasm.)

DANA: (Excitedly) Now where is he??

MONIQUE: (Gestures her head towards Ryan) Over there.

(Dana enters, with her arms still extended, wearing a beige business suit, beige heels, and six watches on each arm.  She almost appears to be showing off her watches.  She walks towards Ryan, daintily.  Ryan gets up from the couch and straightens himself out.)

DANA: (Gaily) Hello, hello, hello!

RYAN: (Awkwardly) Uh, hi…?

(She extends her right arm out to Ryan limply, as if she’s expecting him to kiss her hand.  But, confused, he shakes it instead.  But she still smiles sweetly at him.)

DANA: And what’s your name, little boy?

RYAN: (Forgets his name for a split second) Uh… Ryan.  Ryan.

DANA: Nice to meetcha, Ryan!  I’m Dana.

RYAN:  (Suddenly remembers what Monique told him.  His eyes light up) Oh!  Oh, hi!

(Realizing that he’s still holding Dana’s hand, he shakes it a little harder, and then lets it go.  Dana still smiles at him.)

DANA: And how long do you think you’ll be with us, Ryan?

RYAN: (Uncertain) Uh, I’m not sure.  As long as I have to, I guess.

DANA: Oh, excellent. (Claps her hands once, with finality) Well, just to let you know your first payment is due on—

RYAN: The 5^th.

DANA: (Enthusiastic) VERY good!  Well, welcome to the neighborhood, Ryan.  I’m sure you’ll be VERY (gesturing her head towards Monique, and winking back at Ryan) happy here. (She walks daintily back to the door, light on her heels.  She turns back towards Monique.)  You take care of him now, all right, Monique?

MONIQUE: (Unenthusiastic) Sure.

DANA: (While opening the door and lifting her right leg up) Ciao, kids!

MONIQUE/RYAN: (in unison) Ciao.

(Dana exits.  The door slams a little hard from the wind.  There is a long awkward silence.  Finally Monique speaks.)

MONIQUE: So that was Dana.

RYAN: Yeah. (nervously)  She’s a… happy person.

(Monique doesn’t reply.  There’s another awkward silence.  Then Ryan speaks.)

RYAN:  So where’s my room?

MONIQUE:  Oh, yeah.  That.  (She pauses for a moment, then walks towards the back of the room as she turns to Ryan) Follow me.

(Ryan follows her.  The living room darkens)

CURTAIN

Scene 2: Insomnia

(Light falls upon stage right.  Ryan in his bed, trying to sleep, but noises from outside are keeping him awake.  Apparently there’s a bar across the street and the drunken people outside are talking really loudly.  He tosses and turns repeatedly, tries different positions, pulls the covers over, puts his pillow over his head, etc. Finally he kicks the covers off and gets out of bed.  Stage right darkens. Dim light falls upon the living room.  Monique is on the couch, which is turned towards the left, and she’s watching TV.  Ryan enters from the right and he notices her there, in the dark by herself.)

RYAN: What are YOU doing up late?

MONIQUE: (Turning towards him) I’m getting ready to leave for work.

RYAN: Work?  Now?

MONIQUE: Yeah.

(He notices what she’s watching.  It looks familiar to him, but he can’t remember the name of the movie.)

RYAN: What are you watching?

MONIQUE: Pulp Fiction.

(Crashing noises are heard from the TV.  Then Ryan remembers.)

RYAN: What?  Really?  Why are you watching that now?

MONIQUE: It relaxes me.

TV: Aah!  I’m shot!

(The sudden gunshot made Ryan jump a bit.  Monique didn’t even flinch.)

(Ryan stands behind her and watches for a while.  Then he flops down on the couch next to her.  But instead of looking at the TV, he looks at her, almost lustfully. She notices.)

  
MONIQUE: What?

RYAN: (Stops himself) Oh, nothing.

(Ryan stares at the TV a while longer.  Then he speaks up again.)

RYAN: What time do you need to be at work?

MONIQUE: (Not taking her eyes off the screen) At 2.

RYAN: And when do you finish?

MONIQUE: I don’t know.  10.  Maybe 12.  It depends.

RYAN: Oh, wow.

(He continues staring blankly at the screen.  Then he feels himself getting sleepy as he gets more comfortable on the couch.)

TV: Bring out the gimp.

(Ryan begins to yawn while Monique continues watching.  Then Ryan leans his head back and falls asleep on the couch.)

MONIQUE: (As she gets up) See you in the morning.

(Monique walks towards the door, opens it, and exits the room.  The door closes softly. Ryan is still on the couch, with the TV still on.  The TV resumes in the background, with sounds of Marcellus Wallace’s anal rape coming from the screen.)

CURTAIN